Establishing Group Relationships


The purpose of this exercise is to help our leaders/apprentices understand that discipleship happens as we get to know each other. The journey of discipleship starts with the basics of relating to one another. These questions are designed for a conversation between a coach and the small group leader, or between the small group leader and his apprentice. By no means is this an interview. It is intended to serve as a guide and reminder that we ought to know our people if we are going to serve and lead them. It is also an accountability step to reveal what we know about a person God has placed in our life.

You will notice these questions increase in depth as well as in intimacy. It takes time to get to know people. Remember that people “don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care”. Caution apprentices to not go too deep too quickly, as they get to know their people. It is easy to make people uncomfortable around us when we probe too deep all at once.

Make sure your apprentice is aware of appropriate boundaries with the opposite sex when discovering where people are. Some of these questions are not appropriate for an opposite sex conversation.

Basic Conversation:

(Coach asking small group leaders or small group leader asking apprentice)

  • How well do you know your group leader or the people in our group? What makes you say that?

  • What do you know about their family? Do you know their spouse and children's names?

  • Where do they work? What role do they have at their work place?

  • What is their life story? How did they become a Christian?

  • What are some major stresses in their life right now?

  • How committed are they to the mission of Christ? What have you observed that makes you say that?

  • How long have they walked with the Lord? Is this their only church experience?

  • What was the last personal victory they experienced?

  • Tell me where you think they are in their spiritual journey?

  • Are they surrendered to God?

  • How will you help them take the next step in their spiritual journey?


  • What is one thing you will do to know the people in your group at a deeper level?

  • What will you do to model an environment of honest, transparent discovery?